This is such a beautiful essay—I’ve read it twice now and probably will again. Thank you, Cameron! The way you describe the interiority of desire—the relationship of the self to one’s own embodied pleasure and sense of beauty is so fascinating to me. Of course, as you acknowledge, this relationship is shaped by cultural mores, but there’s something about how this interiority both engages and defies the social world that circumscribes it, in moments existing on a different plane, intimate and idiosyncratic, parallel to that world. I don’t know if my frazzled brain is making sense, but thank you again for this work.
So beautiful Cameron, the dress and this essay. I bought a jacket not long ago and I have come to think of as armour, and like you, worried about what it meant to buy something / buy into something that tread too closely to 'outside of my values' territory. But then we live in it and it just fits in so well.
“I wanted the dress because in wanting the dress I began to want a vision of myself that, with breast amputation, I thought had been closed down to me for good. And in wanting that vision of myself, I found, I also began to want others again. An audience, a public, participation in. My husband as lover, my friends as dancing partners, the world as emerald as my sleeves were, the world as muse, myself as muse, too.”
Holy fuck, yes. So powerfully articulated. This is about saying yes to having a love affair with life.
Cameron, you look absolutely stunning in this dress!! I love to see you wearing it through the years and as someone who goes back and forth about puffy sleeves, I really love how versatile those gorgeous sleeves are!!
Whew, these questions at the heart of it all: Was it possible to fashion a body beyond its immediate ruin? Could the body in the act of dressing itself be a talisman? Could adornment jump-start, once again, the true organ of desire in me: my conscious mind?
I also bought a la ligne dress, less successfully, but for similar reasons of wanting to conjure some part of myself back to life or brand new. The green dress really does seem magic—different shades and shapes depending on the photo. I think you said in another post that you felt hesitant to write about Eros, but I’m glad you did. That last line, too. Right to my heart.
This is such a beautiful essay—I’ve read it twice now and probably will again. Thank you, Cameron! The way you describe the interiority of desire—the relationship of the self to one’s own embodied pleasure and sense of beauty is so fascinating to me. Of course, as you acknowledge, this relationship is shaped by cultural mores, but there’s something about how this interiority both engages and defies the social world that circumscribes it, in moments existing on a different plane, intimate and idiosyncratic, parallel to that world. I don’t know if my frazzled brain is making sense, but thank you again for this work.
Wow, thank you so much, this describes what I was going for better than I could! I so appreciate you reading and sharing these generous comments!
This is a high compliment coming from you! I adore your writing. Also, on a less serious note, that dress!
So beautiful Cameron, the dress and this essay. I bought a jacket not long ago and I have come to think of as armour, and like you, worried about what it meant to buy something / buy into something that tread too closely to 'outside of my values' territory. But then we live in it and it just fits in so well.
Thank you, Nikkitha!
I can’t stop rereading this! Gorgeous dress, gorgeous writing 💚
Thank you, Aria, for reading, your kind comments, and for sharing my work with your readers, too!
what writing! Thank you (& you are ravishing in that dress 💚)
Wow, Gillian, thank you so much for reading and this kind compliment on the writing and the look!
Wow wow wow all around: the dress, the prose. Thinking of that Ross Gay Gwendolyn Brooks callback: "my color's green. I'm spring."
Omg what an honor to be even in the same thought/sentence as Gay and Brooks!! Thank you!!
Absolutely stunning- you, your dress, and your writing ❤️
Thank you so much for reading and saying so!!
“I wanted the dress because in wanting the dress I began to want a vision of myself that, with breast amputation, I thought had been closed down to me for good. And in wanting that vision of myself, I found, I also began to want others again. An audience, a public, participation in. My husband as lover, my friends as dancing partners, the world as emerald as my sleeves were, the world as muse, myself as muse, too.”
Holy fuck, yes. So powerfully articulated. This is about saying yes to having a love affair with life.
Thank you, V! Means the whole world coming from you!
💚
Cameron, you look absolutely stunning in this dress!! I love to see you wearing it through the years and as someone who goes back and forth about puffy sleeves, I really love how versatile those gorgeous sleeves are!!
I totally agree about the sleeves, which totally surprised me when I first got the dress lol. Thank you so much for reading and for the kind words!
Whew, these questions at the heart of it all: Was it possible to fashion a body beyond its immediate ruin? Could the body in the act of dressing itself be a talisman? Could adornment jump-start, once again, the true organ of desire in me: my conscious mind?
I also bought a la ligne dress, less successfully, but for similar reasons of wanting to conjure some part of myself back to life or brand new. The green dress really does seem magic—different shades and shapes depending on the photo. I think you said in another post that you felt hesitant to write about Eros, but I’m glad you did. That last line, too. Right to my heart.
“Conjure myself back to life” is a perfect description of what I’m trying to get at here. Thank you so much for reading!